just one more thing to add to the list of "things i'll never"

bah.

i can't believe the pregnant friend was able to hurt me again. i mean what the hell? i thought i had finally come to terms with it. but no.

this morning i received an e-mail from a mutual friend with this in the e-mail:

I heard from [PF] that you two haven't spoken since we all went out back in December. I'm sorry to hear that and I hope that you are OK.

bah. i can't believe she's spoken to our mutual friends about this. yes, i have told my friends, but none that are actually in contact with her. i figure that circle of friends doesn't need to know that we are not speaking.

then the PF sent me a terse e-mail stating that she meant to include me on this e-mail that announced to all her acquaintances that she is expecting a boy.

yeah, right.
i think she left me off on purpose as it took her a while "to realize" i wasn't on the list.

BAHHHHH.
i really need to get over this.

censorship

so i noticed that in the last few months (year?) that i've been censoring myself...mostly in fear of hurting others.

but what is the point then if i don't actually talk about what is pissing me off or who i'm a lovesick idiot over???

then it happened.
i wrote something that pissed a friend off.
big time.

i didn't even mean anything. i was merely expressing some frustration with the way one evening with one group of friends went.

next thing i'm told is that i better keep my opinions to myself.

yeah, i don't think my friendship is going to recover from something like that.

was i in the wrong?
probably.

did my friend handle it correctly?
absolutely not.
she couldn't have done it in a more painful way.

(i have found that my blog friends are more understanding of this situation and feel she is in the wrong...which is exactly what i want to hear.)

so welcome to the next generation. a blog that NONE* of my friends will ever know about.


yes, i will keep the more public blog up and running (if for no other reason than i like my random readers from canada and australia). but this...this is where i will talk about how i went out drinking and dancing the night before without anyone calling me seconds later and judging me. this is where i will talk about how i have a huge crush on so-and-so without someone calling me seconds later and wanting the FULL story. this will be my safe place. my happy place.

and if somehow you found this and feel the need to judge, please go to the other blog and post unpleasant comments there. i'm all prepared there.


now back to your scheduled programming.
sigh.

*and by "none" i mean my non-blog friends and that particular circle of friends...which i'm probably not friends with anymore.